Cultural expectations often suggest that men should ‘tough it out’ and keep emotions under wraps. This can lead to a cycle of silence—where those who are anxious or depressed feel unable to share what they’re going through. Yet, research into men’s mental health repeatedly shows that open conversations can foster resilience, connection, and even prevent a spiral into deeper emotional distress. By normalising these talks, we acknowledge that vulnerability is not weakness; it’s a path towards healthier coping and stronger relationships.

Understand What The Might Be Feeling

Men who struggle with heavy emotions such as anxiety or depression may:

• Worry they’ll be ridiculed or viewed as weak for speaking up
• Believe they must shoulder the burden alone to ‘prove’ their strength
• Feel guilty for being unable to simply ‘snap out of it’
• Fear letting down loved ones or appearing incapable

Recognising these barriers is crucial—when you approach someone with compassion and without judgment, you help dismantle the notion that asking for help equates to failure.

Starting The Conversation

Choosing the right moment and setting can make a big difference. A calm, comfortable space—a local café during a quieter hour or a relaxed setting at home—offers a more supportive backdrop.

Open-ended questions: Instead of “Are you okay?”, try “How have things really been lately?” This invites a deeper response than a simple “yes” or “no.”

Active listening: Show genuine interest in what they share. Make eye contact, nod, and allow pauses without rushing to fill the silence.

Empathy over solutions: While it’s tempting to jump in with quick fixes, sometimes just hearing someone out and saying, “I understand this must be tough,” helps more than any immediate advice.

Maintaining Open Lines Of Communication

A single heart-to-heart may not be enough. For someone dealing with ongoing stress or mental health challenges, consistent check-ins can offer reassurance that they’re not alone.

Regular follow-ups: A simple text—“Hey mate, just wanted to see how you’re doing today”—can mean the world.

Share small wins or insights: If you find a helpful article or resource, pass it along gently. It might open the door to another fruitful conversation.

Encourage social connections: Group activities or casual catch-ups with friends can ease feelings of isolation, especially if someone is used to withdrawing.

Encouraging Professional Support

Although personal chats with friends or family can be a powerful starting point, sometimes anxiety or depression requires more specialised help. Suggesting a visit to a GP, counsellor, or psychologist may feel daunting, but it can be transformative.

De-stigmatise therapy: Remind them that therapy or counselling isn’t only for crisis moments; it’s also about learning coping strategies and building resilience.

Offer practical assistance: If they’re hesitant, propose helping with research for local services or going with them to a first appointment (if appropriate and comfortable).

Looking After Your Own Wellbeing

Supporting someone who’s going through a tough time is an admirable act of friendship or love, but it can also be emotionally draining.

Acknowledge your limits: You don’t have to provide round-the-clock support. If the conversation intensifies, know it’s okay to pause and reconnect later.

Seek guidance for yourself: Talking to a professional or a trusted confidant about how you’re feeling can prevent burnout and compassion fatigue.

Set healthy boundaries: Offer steady support, but remember you can’t ‘fix’ everything yourself. Encourage them to connect with mental health experts when needed.

More Information & Support

For further resources on how to support someone living with anxiety or depression, or if you’re seeking answers for your own struggles, Beyond Blue provides a range of tools, articles, and support services:

Beyond Blue – How to help someone with anxiety or depression

If someone appears to be in crisis or at immediate risk, don’t hesitate to contact emergency services or a professional helpline right away.

Final Note

Heavy conversations about mental health can be uncomfortable, particularly for men who’ve internalised messages that discourage vulnerability. Yet opening up—even a little—can break that cycle of silence and pave the way for deeper understanding, genuine connection, and potentially life-changing support. Sometimes, lending an empathetic ear or simply saying, “I see you and I’m here for you,” is the most meaningful gesture of all.

Disclaimer: This article is for general information only and does not replace professional advice. If you or someone you know is in crisis, please reach out to qualified healthcare professionals or emergency services immediately.